Comments on: We (still) didn’t get the house, but check out the carnival! http://totalcandor.com/blog/2009/07/we-still-didnt-get-the-house-but-check-out-the-carnival/ A Conversation About Income, Wealth, and the Steps in Between Wed, 08 Sep 2010 17:40:09 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Michael http://totalcandor.com/blog/2009/07/we-still-didnt-get-the-house-but-check-out-the-carnival/comment-page-1/#comment-143803 Michael Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:59:25 +0000 http://totalcandor.com/blog/?p=676#comment-143803 @Jeff: Thanks for the kind words (I know you meant schmuck in a friendly sort of way, and I love your use of Yiddish in any case)! We're glad this particular house is "over" and that we did not raise our bid despite temptation. What I didn't get into was how <em>many</em> times the selling agent contacted our agent to try to get us to raise our bid as a backup. Crazy the emotional roller coaster they try (and occasionally succeed) in putting everyone on! @Jeff: Thanks for the kind words (I know you meant schmuck in a friendly sort of way, and I love your use of Yiddish in any case)!

We’re glad this particular house is “over” and that we did not raise our bid despite temptation. What I didn’t get into was how many times the selling agent contacted our agent to try to get us to raise our bid as a backup. Crazy the emotional roller coaster they try (and occasionally succeed) in putting everyone on!

]]> By: Jeffrey Rupertus http://totalcandor.com/blog/2009/07/we-still-didnt-get-the-house-but-check-out-the-carnival/comment-page-1/#comment-143802 Jeffrey Rupertus Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:52:43 +0000 http://totalcandor.com/blog/?p=676#comment-143802 Remember the time, maybe it was in high school, maybe in college, that you realized that your parents were just as clueless about life as you were? that they were just a couple of schmucks doing their best to get through each day without making a total mess of things? Before that, they had all the answers and their word was law. This is kind of what this post was like for me. My wife and I were going through this same exact thing a year ago (we closed on the house Sept. 29th, 2008) and it is so interesting to see someone as financially educated as the man that set us on a positive financial path struggling with the same things we struggled with. Observing as an outsider, I am sure you would be able to look objectively upon the situation and give "correct" advice, but when you are mixed up in the middle of it, with emotions and desires flying all over the place, it's a bit of a maelstrom. I can say that the few months we were deciding on the house were probably the most trying on our (relatively) young marriage. That being said, we learned a lot about one another - what each of us wanted, where each of us is willing to compromise, and at what point each of us will shut down and regress into infancy. You think that you already know this about your partner, being that you've faced years with that person already, but put a decision that involves 6 figures between the two of you, and you realize there is still a lot of learning. Best to you and your wife and thank you for being willing to share this experience with us. Remember the time, maybe it was in high school, maybe in college, that you realized that your parents were just as clueless about life as you were? that they were just a couple of schmucks doing their best to get through each day without making a total mess of things? Before that, they had all the answers and their word was law. This is kind of what this post was like for me.

My wife and I were going through this same exact thing a year ago (we closed on the house Sept. 29th, 2008) and it is so interesting to see someone as financially educated as the man that set us on a positive financial path struggling with the same things we struggled with. Observing as an outsider, I am sure you would be able to look objectively upon the situation and give “correct” advice, but when you are mixed up in the middle of it, with emotions and desires flying all over the place, it’s a bit of a maelstrom.

I can say that the few months we were deciding on the house were probably the most trying on our (relatively) young marriage. That being said, we learned a lot about one another – what each of us wanted, where each of us is willing to compromise, and at what point each of us will shut down and regress into infancy. You think that you already know this about your partner, being that you’ve faced years with that person already, but put a decision that involves 6 figures between the two of you, and you realize there is still a lot of learning.

Best to you and your wife and thank you for being willing to share this experience with us.

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